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The Biker’s Job In Hell
By Richard ‘Bingo’ Cosby
D.C. Eagles M.C. / Wisconsin Confederation Of Clubs
(In memory of D.C. Eagle Chico, Outlaw Papa Snake & Outlaw Rocker who was killed by the Milwaukee Cops)
The biker died and found himself outside the ‘Pearly Gate’ -
He said: “I was in the middle of a beer! Couldn’t you people wait?
Saint Pete just smiles and said: “Come in and get your set of wings.”
“I got my hawg!” The biker said: “I don’t need them things!”
Saint Pete just shut the gate - right in that biker’s face!
Then with a smile - he said: “Then You try that Other place!
The biker blinked - a second - nothing more -
And he found himself on his hawg - outside the Devil’s door!
He wasn’t there very long and up another biker came -
He slid up to a stop and then he asked: “Hey, What’s your name?”
“They call me Papa Snake.” he said: “And who the hell are you?”
He answered: “I’m the biker boss! That’s who you’re talking to!
Now if you’ll follow me I’ll take you to the rest -
We get a lot of bikers here - but I only keep the best.”
They rode for just a little way - it wasn’t very far -
To the Devil’s clubhouse and they stepped up to the bar.
Jack Daniels for Papa Snake and pour the same for me.
He turned and said: “I’m Rocker and Chico over there is my V.P.
I know you’re wondering just what you’ll have to do -
Well we’ll have a drink - then I’ll explain it all to you.”
They had a few - then Rocker said to Papa Snake:
“You were quite a bro alive - so I’ll see that you get a break.
You’ll be in charge of 50 men who have to shovel shit -
And 50 more - that have to carry it and dump it in a pit.
Now in that pit there’s a hundred more - in shit up to their eyes!
And while standing on their toes - they make it into ‘pies’.
Now all these guys - before they died and ended up down here -
Were snitches, prison guards or judges - just to make that clear –
For when those pies of shit are made they take them from the pit -
Because All the cops end up here - and they’re fed those pies of shit!”
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Biker’s Names
By Richard ‘Bingo’ Cosby
Wisconsin Confederation Of Clubs
I’ll bet I’ve met ten thousand bikers! Many with ‘names’ the same
And I always wondered - how in Hell he got that goofy name!
I’ve met a dozen ‘Spiders’ and ‘Wild Bills’ - a dozen more
‘Crazy’ this, and ‘Crazy’ that, - - ‘Bigs’ and ‘Littles’ by the score.
I knew a ‘Rocker’, a ‘Burrito’, ‘Papa Snake’, ‘Weasel’, and a ‘Frog’,
A ‘Goat’, a ‘Bear’, ‘Big Animal’, a ‘Tiger’, and a ‘Hawg’.
I know a ‘Buzzard’, a ‘Turkey’, a ‘Hawk’, a ‘Duck’, a ‘Goose’
A ‘Polock’, ‘Swede’, and ‘Dago’ - a ‘Shovel’, ‘Rat’, and ‘Moose’.
There’s ‘Solo’, ‘Shooter’, ‘Hungry’, ‘Flapper’, and a ‘Crank’
‘Boonie’, ‘Dozer’, ‘Junkyard’, ‘Dirty Doyle’, and ‘Tank’.
‘Old Man Pete’, a ‘Maverick’, a ‘Butcher’, and a ‘Slash’
‘Stoneface’, ‘Greaseball’, ‘Taco’, ‘Skeeter’, and a ‘Crash’.
There’s ‘One Eye’, ‘Nubs’ and ‘Chopper’ - a ‘Super’’ and a ‘Louse’
‘Kind Brother’, ‘Surfer’, ‘Snoopy’, ‘Criminal Chris’, and ‘Mouse’.
‘Pirate John’ and ‘Cowboy’ - - ‘Hundred Proof’ and ‘Dirty Dan’
‘Stairway Harry’, ‘Jingles’, a ‘Hitler’, ‘Skull’, and ‘Pan’.
‘Joe The Jag’, ‘Kingfish’, ‘Spike’, ‘Ghetto’, and a ‘Brew’
A ‘Wizard’, ‘Suicide’, ‘Killer’, a ‘Tiny’, and a ‘Heavy’ too.
One ‘Claim Jumper’, a ‘Chad’, ‘Poppy’, ‘Speed’ and ‘Shoe’
‘Super’, ‘Snatch’, ‘Preacher’, a ‘Yankee’, and a ‘Rebel’ too.
There’s some that really blow my mind! Some that really puzzle me!
‘Douche Bag’, ‘Bugs’ and ‘Maggot’ - - ‘Gangreen’ and one ‘V.D.’!
‘Barf’, ‘Skidrow’, ‘Pervert’, ‘Roadblock’, ‘Weird’, and ‘Crud’
‘Vulture’, ‘Puke’, ’Dog Breath’, a ‘Dirt’, a ‘Slime’, and ‘Mud’ -
There’s a ‘Rotten’ a ‘Scumbag’, a ‘Gargoyle’ and a ‘Worm’
A ‘Dickhead’, ‘Towbar’, ‘Lousy’, a ‘Filthy’, ‘Qball”’ and ‘Germ’.
One they call ‘Greased Lightning’ - a ‘Mad’, a ‘Freak’ a ‘Turd’
And for every crazy name that I forgot - I’ll bet there’s two I haven’t heard!
I could go on and on - and I’ll bet you know a few.
I know how I got MY name --- Now stop - and think --- Do YOU?
Bingo…
glerz@aol.com
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